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Santa Claus Phone NumberSanta Claus Phone Number - We give you Santa Claus phone number so you can surprise your kids or grandkids. We have santa tracker radars so they can also see where Santa is. We also cover Santa wallpaper, jokes and pictures.

Santa plane (Click to enlarge)
Santa Plane

Did you know that Santa wears Sandy Claws every morning? Check some Santa Claus jokes here, among funny images of Santa and have yourself a very laughing Christmas.

The Claus Family

St. Nicholas is the main Claus. His wife is a relative Claus. His children are dependent Clauses. Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Claus. As a group, they're all renoun Clauses. Santa's elves are subordinate Clauses.

Santa in business (Click to enlarge)
Santa Claus Jokes - Santa doing Business


According to the Alaskan Department of Fish and game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers 'till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen had to be a girl.

We should've known! Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, and NOT GET LOST.

Santa on a reindeer (Click to enlarge)
Santa Claus Joke - Santa on a Reindeer

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual,

"And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped:

"Didn't you get my E-mail?"

The most relevant links we could find, placed here free

email Santa - Quick Santa Claus jokes, long list of them.

Basic Jokes - Santa jokes, funny clean jokes.

101Santa-Claus - Santa Claus jokes, Christmas jokes.

Humor Matters - A collection of Christmas jokes.

Santa's Net. - Christmas and Santa Claus jokes.

Hurry santa (Click to enlarge)
Hurry Santa!

You Better Be Good

Sarah and her thirteen-year-old sister had been fighting a lot this year. This happens when you combine a headstrong two-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young adolescent.

Sarah's parents, trying to take advantage of her newfound interest in Santa Claus, reminded the two-year-old that Santa was watching and doesn't like it when children fight. This had little impact.

"I'll just have to tell Santa about your misbehavior", the mother said as she picked up the phone and dialed. Sarah's eyes grew big as her mother asked "Mrs. Claus" (really Sarah's aunt; Santa's real line was busy) if she could put Santa on the line. Sarah's mouth dropped open as Mom described to Santa (Sarah's uncle) how the two-year-old was acting. But, when Mom said that Santa wanted to talk to her, she reluctantly took the phone.

Santa, in a deepened voice, explained to her how there would be no presents Christmas morning to children who fought with their sisters. He would be watching, and he expected things to be better from now on.

Sarah, now even more wide eyed, solemnly nodded to each of Santa's remarks and silently hung the phone up when he was done. After a long moment, Mom (holding in her chuckles at being so clever) asked, "What did Santa say to you, dear?"

In almost a whisper, Sarah sadly but matter-of-factly stated, "Santa said he won't be bringing toys to my sister this year".

Quick Santa Claus Jokes

Why does Santa always go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!

Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays?
At a Ho-ho-tel!

What does Mrs. Claus sing to Santy on his birthday?
"Freeze a jolly good fellow!"

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 bill. Which one picked it up?
Santa! The other two don't exist!

What does Santa say to the toys on Christmas Eve?
Okay everyone, sack time!

What do the elves call it when Pre Nol claps his hands at the end of a play? Santapplause!

More Santa Claus jokes at emailsanta